My brother Adam is coming out from Washington, D.C. today. This means she will have seen all of her children shortly before she dies.
The Hospice nurse visited today. Mom is hallucinating, sometimes anxious, but mostly near comatose.
I told the nurse outside that I was ready for mom to go. This is no life for her. She is suffering. She said I needed to tell mom this because she thinks mom may be hanging on out of worry for me.
So I did.
A few minutes ago I pulled up a chair next to her and said I needed to tell her something.
"I'm OK with you dying," I said. "I'll be fine."
I told her not to hang on for my sake, and I know the time is soon.
"I know," she said, still holding my hand.
I tried to fight back the tears, because I don't want her to see me sad. I didn't do such a great job - but I maintained.
"This isn't living," she said.
"I know," I said. "But, I will see you again someday."
I kissed her cheek and told her I loved her.
She said she loved me too... and she is ready.
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Thank you for sharing this journey with us.
ReplyDeleteI am listening to my mom breathe on the monitor now. She has been incoherent since Tuesday. Just breathing. She is 85 and my sister and I have been watching over here since May 28th when she got out of the hospital with pneaumonia. She has leukemia and didnt want chemo. But to me she has already died 3 days ago when she stopped talking and responding to us. We have been lucky that it has only been a month.We said everything we needed to and she knows we ready for her to go to heaven.
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