This was mom's last Mother's Day.
I made her pancakes for breakfast. I put her in her wheelchair and took her to the bookstore to buy her some mystery novels. Today some flowers arrived from my brother. A DVD of Ester William's movies arrived from my sister.
Mom didn't say much. She doesn't anymore.
But when I asked her if she had a nice mother's day she said she did.
Mom is not sad or depressed, but I am sad. I don't want her to know how sad I really am because I don't want her to be sad that I'm sad.
When Hospice first came in they told us they had grief counseling. I didn't think I would need it. I do.
But I still don't want it because it's going to be a complete bawl-fest, and I don't know if I want to open the floodgates. Maybe it's time.
Here I go.. I'm picking up the phone to call them.
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I am glad that you and your Mother were able to celebrate Mothers Day together. My heart breaks for you and the sadness you are feeling. Having been in your shoes, I feel like I should be able to give you great advice and make you feel better about things. If you would ever just like to get together to talk about things, or need a good ear to listen, or a shoulder to cry on, let me know.....I can offer you this.
ReplyDeleteThanks Nancy. I just off off the phone with the Hospice counselor. She sugggested a grief support group. I'm going to check it out. She said my sadness was normal and it's just part of the grief process.
ReplyDeleteNancy - can you email me at emily@turnto23.com - I can't see your email email address through this site.
ReplyDeleteEmily