It's been a slow smooth ride for the past few days. Mom can't eat to much because it hurts to swallow and she's sleeping more and more. She given up on putting her teeth in because that hurts too.
The roller coaster has slowed, now we are just coasting, albeit downhill.
As for me, I had an emotional breakdown(away from the eyes of mom). Crying, cranky and crass. I'm glad I did.
I have recently often felt overwhelmed, and there was a nagging urge to get away, take a break. Space. Diversion. Escape.
After my mini-meltdown, things have changed. Being here at home with her gives me a sense of peace. I don't need to get away anymore. I just want to be with her. She watches the Turner Classic Movies (TMC) channel 24 hours a day - literally. I caught myself turning it on in my room while I went to take a nap today. It was soothing to me - reminds me of mom - even though she was in the next room.
Geez, am I in the 'acceptance' stage of grief? The 'denial' one wasn't too bad, but the 'anger' one sucked.
I hope it lasts, when mom does not.
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Thinking of you ...
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